Connected hearts
by Magnolia Mae
Summary: The story of Alice and Jasper.Alice human/Jasper vampire.Bella turned into a vampire before Alice,All of the Cullens are immune to human blood like Carlisle and so far...
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own twilight. It all belongs to Stephanie Meyer.I just write fanfics from it.**

* * *

I always thought that nothing good will ever happen to me. And during my slowly forward moving life I come to accept it. For a long time ago have I stopped waiting for anything to happen. But then - and trust me, no one is more suprised than I am -everything changes and suddenly I don´t know how to go on. My name is Alice Brandon. Well, actually my real first name is Mary, but I prefere to be addressed by my second name. I have a short,spiky black hair and brown eyes. I´m also quite short, only 4 ft 10.

I guess thats about it. I live in Forks. I moved here from Biloxi 3 months ago.I live alone. Well, actually I am alone. My parents died years ago and since then I´ve been living by myself. Of course my sister Cynthia is still alive,but she was so much younger than me when our parents died,that she was adopted. So thats why we don´t really see eatchothers.

I took my jacket and left the house. I opened my car door and sat on to the comfortable leatherseat. My parents left me huge amont of money and thats why I am able to enjoy myself.I drove to the school and parked my car. The first lesson didn´t start in twenty more minutes, so I opened the radio in a hope of hearing something good to get a nice start at the day. I looked out of the window while listening to a romantic love song. Well atleast it didn´t rain -not yet thats it.

I watched the clock and sighed. It was time to go. Slowly and relutancly I got out of the warmness of my car.I already knew the boring routine the day would follow - Predictable and boring.

When I had locked my car door, the bell rang. I walked quickly to the classroom and headed to my desk in the back of the classroom.I sat down and took my books from the bag.I looked out of the window. It was a bit clowdy, and the sun didn´t shine. But it was also quite dry. Here in Forks you consider that kind of weather sort of beutifull. Oh how I hoped that I wouldn´t have to be locked up in school for the next seven hours. It´s been a while since I´ve been shopping and now when the weather is finally dry enough...

I put the thoughts of shopping aside. The teacher had just come in and the lesson began. I tried my best following the lesson,but for some reason, I found it kinda hard today. Propably thats becose the subject we were studying was already went through in my old school and thats why I was really bored. Most of the people would be happy if school felt easy,but for me a lack of challenge was only boring. The same stuff over and over is not very inspiering.

When the bell finally rang and decleared the lesson was over I had already gotten up and walking out of the classroom,before anyone else had even realized it was time to get up.I made my way to the Spanish class and sighed of relief. I was the only one in the room and I knew that the other students will turn up in the last minute.I had privacy guarenteed for the next 15 minutes. While waiting for the lesson to begin,I read a book that I had just started,and it was just about to get interesting. It was relaxing to forget where I was and dive in to a romantic fantasy.

Next time I raised my head from the book the room was full and the others were writing down notes.I quickly put the book in my bag and writed down mine.I watched clock...the lesson had started half an hour ago!!Thinking how lucky I was when the teacher hadn´t noticed,I focused on the assigment we were given.

After Spanish I had a free period.I walked towards the parking lot to spend it in my car. When I was just about to walk down the stairs,I heard someone calling my name. Slowly,relutancly I turned around to see who it was.

A group of students were staring at me. The person who had called me was Lauren Mallory,one of my least favorite persons in the world. In her right side was standing Jessica Stanley,and behind of them were about a dozen of their closest gang members. All of them were smiling - never a good sign for me.

"What´s up freak?"Lauren asked."Going to lock yourself in your Porsche again?Why not spend the free period with your friends instead?"she raised her hand infront of her mouth."Oops,I almost forgot. You don´t have any."

The others laughed.I bit my lip. Worse was coming. And it´ll only be worse if answered,it always was.I refused myself from showing fear or any other emotions and forced myself to look at straight to them.

"Who would want to be friends with a no-life loser like you?"started Jessica."I mean come on. Why would anyone want to spend time with someone who doesn´t do anything but reads 24/7...What could do?Start a bookclub for socially unchallenged people?"

More laughing. It was starting to get hard to keep the tears from coming.I wanted to turn around and run away,but in this situation it´s the worst possible thing to do.

"Too bad friends can´t be bought. Otherwise you´d have plenty."Lauren smirked.

"Yeah,that´s so true. Who the hell do you think you are anyway?Always showing up with your desinger clothes and driving around with an expensive car." agreed Jessica. The others behind of them were muttering to show that they agreeded with the two of them.

I felt a rush of adrenalin. Of course I knew it was stupid to let them get to me,but I couldn´t help it.I know more than well that they are only doing this becose of jealosy,but it still felt terrible. My emotions were mixed with anger,saddness and fear.

Lauren smirked."Oh look. She´s going to cry. What´s the matter freak?Can´t handle the truth??"

"The truth?Oh please."I said before I had a chance to stop myself."The truth is that you are pathetic,mean bitch,who doesn´t care about anything else than yourself."

I know that I really,REALLY shouldn´t have said that. If I wasn´t in trouble moment ago,I sure was now.I followed their reaction quietly. Few of them started throwing comments like "Who asked for your oppinion" and "Who do you think you are" and so on. Lauren didn´t say anything.

"How dare you?" Jessica screamed. Before I understood what happened,she slapped me. It didn´t hurt or anything,but it felt really humiliating. She was raising her hand to do it again,but Lauren had took her hand.

"Wait"she said."I have a better idea."she smiled and clapped her hands twice.

I didn´t have time to escape.I was now surrounded by a huge gang,all of them bigger and stronger than me. They kicked and hit. They pull my hair and spat on my clothes. All of them were either laughing or throwing their mean comments.I scremead from pain. For them my pain only made beating me up more fun. They enjoyed themselves when they heard me screaming.

After they were done,they walked away.I was now alone with Jessica and Lauren.I stood up.I was bruised and bleeding. Every part of my body hurt like hell,but I didn´t let the pain show in my face.I refused myself from crying infront of them.

"Still feeling like insulting us?"laughed Lauren.I didn´t answer."Face it. You´re no match for us. You´ll never be like us."

"Hopefully.I could never be as mean as you,and I´m proud of it."I said watching straight to them."I would never gang up on people who hadn´t done anything to me.I am not a coward like you."

Wrong move. Lauren took steps towards me until she was only inches away.

"Take. It. Back!!!"she whispered,between her lips."NOW!!!" she shouted.

"No."I refused.

She pushed me.I lost my ballance and fell rolling down the stairs,straight in to mud.I heard Lauren and Jessica laughing in their way back in. It started raining.

I didn´t get up.

* * *

**So what do you think?Leave a comment if you want me to publish the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

I knew I had to get up. Move away quickly before anyone could see me.I tried to get up -every move hurted.I wiped of the painfull tears in my eyes,but it was hard to keep them from coming. My clothes were ruined,full of mud and blood.I was freezing,since it was now raining and wet. Trying to get up was a wrong move - I think I ´ve broken my wrist.

I looked at my clothes - the sight was not pretty. My cream coloured Prada jacket was covered in mud and blood. My bag used to be a Dior. And my shoes silver Manolos. Now I can kiss all of them a good bye. My Hermes scarf was no a wothless piece of fabric. What was I thinking wearing them in school anyway, I should have seen this coming sooner or later.

"Are you alright?" I heard a sweet,gentle voice whispering to my ear. I carefully turned around enough to see who it was. I was now looking straight in to the most handsome guy I had ever seen. He had a lean,quite muscular body, blond hair and golden brown eyes. It was clear to me he was new, I would have definatly remembered if there was someone like him in this school. He looked at me worried. I blushed. I tried to get up,or atleast get myself a little bit more dignity,but it was hard to get up when every part of my body was in such pain. I wanted to scream, thats how bad it was.

"Ouch." I whispered to myself, quietly. Apperantly not quiet enough. He had heard it. Before I had a chance to understand what he was doing, he had helped me on my feet. He let go of me, but I almost fell again - this time becose I was suprised by the sharp pain that was with me when I stood up. He caught me before I fell and didn´t let go. From wich I was apreciative of.

"Are you alright?" he asked again. He´s voice was so beutiful that I couldn´t get a word out of my mouth. What should I answer to this really hot gentleman who has already been nicer to me than anyone else in this school...

"Well, I guess it´s stupid to even ask. I think I should take you to the hospital. I don´t think the school nurse can take care of as bad injuries as yours." he said quietly. He´s tone of voice was so,,,worried. I´ve been taking care of myself so many years that I´ve completely forgotten what it´s like to have some one who cares of your well-being. He was being really sweet,but I didn´t want to go to the hospital. I finally got the power of speech back, but I was worried that he would hear from voice that I had cried. Instead I shook my head.

"Why not?" he asked. He gently turned me over so he could see my face. I had to gasp when he looked at me with his sparkling eyes.

"What happened?" he asked. He sounded worried, but I could sense that he was curious as well. I don´t understand why he cares. Why would this insainly hot guy care about a girl like me?I didn´t want to admit what had happened and I tried hard to think of an explanation that he would believe. It was difficult too becose I couldn´t keep my mind in it when he was staring at me so intensivly.

"I...fainted." I managed to get of my mouth. Finally.A word. What a great first impression he propably has...This is so embarrazing. For a moment I thought he didn´t believe me.

"Fainted?Why?Are you anemiac or something?"he asked and I was reliefed. Atlest he had bought my white lie.

"No,,nothing like that. I just haven´t eaten anything so...that´s why." I answered, wondering what he might reply. I felt a bit guilty having to lie to him, but there was no way I could ever tell the truth - not to him, not to anyone.

"Do you have a car?" he asked and I nodded.

"Great. Give me your keyes. I´ll drive. "he said. We caught eachothers eyes. "I can´t let you drive in that condition."

He looked at my hand. Then he raised he´s eyes to look at mine. "Come on. You must be in pain. And cold since you´ve been in the rain so long. You don´t want to get sick too." he said and took of his jacket while talking. He put in around me. My first impression of him was right, he was a true sweet gentleman.

"I don´t wanna go to the hospital. I´m sorry. That´s really sweet of you offering your help, but I can handle this. Why do you care about me anyway... I`m just..." I couldn´t finish the sentence. I ment to say fine but we both knew that it wasn´t true. Anyone who would see me now would now it. Luckily he didn´t say anything about it.I started walking to my car. After a few steps I heard him following me. I stopped.

"Wait."

I turned around to see what he wanted.

"I have an idea...so,uhm..."

"Alice" I said.

"Alice." he said with a smile. "Beutifull name. Suits you well." I blushed again.

"I´m Jasper, Jasper Hale. " he continued.

"Nice to meet you Jasper." I said. It was no lie. I liked him. A bit too much if you think that we´ve just met, if you know what I mean.

"You too. If you don´t want to go to the hospital then what if I take you to my place?My father Carlisle is a doctor and I´m sure he could take a look at your broken wrist." he suggested.

"Fine." I agreeded. To be honest, a day with him sounded really good. "But we have to go to my house first. I think I should atleast change my clothes to something more clean." I added.

"Yeah. I think thats a good idea." he said and togeher we walked to my car. When I was opening my car door, his hands stopped me.

"I still can´t let let you drive. I´m sorry if you think I´m being annoying on purpose, but I don´t want you to put yourself in danger.I´ll drive." he said and walked to the other side of the car and held the door opened when I went in. He helped to get my seatbelt on and then he drove us out of the school area.

Overprotective fool. Still a handsome, sweet gentleman. I was starting to fall on his charm.


	3. Chapter 3

He drove me to home and waited me when I took a shower and changed my clothes to clean ones. I went to upstairs and quickly chose new clothes. Then I walked in to the bathroom and locked the door. I walked infront of the mirror. It was horrible. I was coverd in mud and blood, and there were several bruises all over my body. I looked horrible. As if I was beaten up or something. Oh wait. I was.

I put my dirty clothes to the laundry - it´s not like washing them helpes but I wanted to try. I took a shower and washed my hair. I brushed it and then I started covering the damages. I covered my face with make up - there was a huge black bruise in my cheek and I didn´t want anyone to see it. I got dressed. I had chosen clothes that would cover most of my body, and that looked cute. When I was sure I no longer looked like beaten up, I walked back downstairs, where he was waiting for me.

Our eyes met. He smiled at me and I responded to it. It´s weird really. Everytime I saw his sparkling eyes I had to catch my breath. He was my everything, I needed him more than food or water, way more than air to breath. I needed him.

It´s not normal to react this way. I just met him. But still I felt I´ve known him for all my life.

"Sorry that you had to wait so long. Hope your not too bored." I found myself saying when I remembered how talking happened.

"No, not at all." he said. "You are worth waiting for."

Somehow those small words sounded the most beutifull thing ever. They made me feel myself so light and happy, so warm. Never in my life I had anyone who would make me feel this way.I felt my cheeks turning red when I mumbled "thank you".

"You look amazing." he continued with his sweet tone of voice, gentle smile in his face. He walked towards me and stared at me with his gorgeus eyes. He stopped and took my hand.

"No, I don´t." I answered and shook my head a bit.

"Yes you do. You look breathtakingly beutifull." he said, Then I raised my eyes from the floor and looked at him. "Just the truth." he said."Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. Sure." I answered shyly. He´s presence made me nearvous, but at the very same time I was relaxed and calm. With him I felt like nothing in this world can hurt me. Yet everytime I was with him my heart started beating faster and my stomach was full of butterflies. I had never felt this way before and there is a part of me thats wondering what exactly he sees in me. The other part thinks that I finally have a chance to be happy.

I don´t know why he cares so much, but on the other hand, I don´t even want to. Of course I was curious and everything, but that doesn´t matter. It´s not that important. After all the loneliness in my life I want to allow myself a little happiness. And he is the one who makes me happy. Is that so wrong? Is it right to try being happy, even if it won´t last? Or am I being a bad person?

I sat down to the car and closed my eyes. I tried to ignore my fast pulse and the pain in my hand. I was quite nervous of going to his place and meeting his parents. I tried t concentrate on breathing to get my beating to heart to slow down. I don´t know how, but he seemed to realize I was scared.

"Are you scared?"he asked. I don´t know if it´s just me, but I don´t think thats actually a question. It was obiously ment to be one, but for me it didn´t sound like it.

"Just a little bit." I responded.

"Why?" he asked. He tried to make it sound casual but I sensed the curiosity in his voice.

"Well...Isn´t it a bit odd that your taking a complete stranger, that you´ve just met, to your home?And...what if they don´t like me?And I don´t know anything about them..." I muttered. I tried to sound like any of this didn´t matter, but I failed miserably. He noticed it and started calming me down.

"Shh...You have nothing to be afraid of." he said. When I heard him saying it, it was impossible to doubt it. With him I am always safe.

"What do you wanna know about my family?" he asked. I thought about it a bit.

"Everything." I said. He chose his words carefully and started explaining.

"I´m from Texas. I was adopted by Carlisle and Esme,together with my twin sister Rosalie. Our parents died years ago. Rosalie and his husband Emmet, my stepbrother, are traveling, and they´ll come back tomorrow evening. My other stepbrother Edward and his wife Bella are in honeymoon. They will be back next weekend. They got married a month ago. My parents Carlisle and Esme are young too,only 30. Everyone execpt me and Rosalie use Cullen in their last name. Rosalie wanted to keep Hale as her last name and didn´t want to be the only one."

It took me while to get a word out of my mouth. He has lost his parents too. He...understands. I´ve never met anyone who had lost his parents too.

"Alice?Alice??"

Even when I was thinking of this I still couln´t hep but wondering his lovable voice.I don´t even remember when I started crying. He stopped the car and and hugged me. He held me quietly. I never really noticed how good he smelled. It was completely unique, there is nothing you can compere it with. Slowly I calmed down. I concentrated on breathing and soon I felt better.

"I´m sorry."I apologized.

"It´s okey. Wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"It´s just..."I hesitated.I didn´t know how to say it."It just reminded me about my parents. They died few years ago, and that´s why I live by myself."

"Oh Alice, I´m so sorry.I shouldn´t have said..." he started but I stopped him.

"It´s not your fault. How could have you known?"I said. He gave me hug.

"Shouldn´t you tell me to stop crying?" I asked.

"Why would I do that? I think you needed that, badly. I think your avoiding your feelings, and it was just waiting to get out. You need to allow yourself be sad once in a while. To feel what you really feel." he answered.

A guy who doesn´t run away when girl shows her emotions...wow. That was so sweet. Too sweet for me, becose I immidiatly bursted into tears, again..Gosh..When will this end? I´ve been crying for hours,,,or atleast it felt like it.

"Alice??" Jasper asked,in a shock when he saw my reaction. He must think I´m completely mental or something. I´m almost waiting for him to run away any second now, but he didn´t." Did I say something wrong?" he asked.

"No. Why are you blaming youself? Everything you´ve said is true. I´m just..I´m not used to talk about these kind of things..I have never said out loud that my parents are dead. I never had anybody who...understands."

"You´ve been hurt many times. It´s only natural to feel bad. It doesn´t make you a bad person. It means your normal." he answered kindly."You´re afraid showing your feelings, becose you think you´ll only end up hurt and alone again."

He took my face between his hands, forcing me to watch straight into his eyes. "Alice, you can always trust me. I will never hurt you." he said and then let go.

"Thank you." I said quietly. He smiled.

"Ready to go?" he asked. I nodded and he started driving again. All I could think about was his words. I heard them over and over in my head.

_"Alice, you can always trust me. I will never hurt you."_

_

* * *

_

_**So what do you think???I loved writing this chapter, it was so much fun. I would really appreciate if someone really sweet person would give an oppinion of the story. I don´t mind if it´s negative, becose then I would know how to write better in the future. Since english is not my real mother tongue, please forgive me the mistakes there might be. **_

_**See you soon!  
**_


	4. Chapter 4

After driving a while he turned to a small road you can barely notice in the forest around us. I was a bit shocked when I noticed the time. The schoolday had started 4 hours ago. That means I´ve known him a bit under two hours..It felt like I´ve known him forever. He understands me in a way that it´s impossible to describe, It´s like there is a connection between us. I don´t have to tell him what I´m feeling, becose everytime he already knows it. I know it can´t be normal to know exactly how others feel, but maybe I am just predictable.

_"He´s not like anyone I met. He´s mysterius, charming and understanding."_ Could he be more...I don´t know how, but I had the feeling in the beginning - when we met, that he is not like me. He is..more. He´s more an angel rather than,,,human. There is more. He is more, He is more than a human. When understanding this a normal girl would have been scared, but not me. Instead I was reliefed. The fact that he is more than a human propably explains his gorgeus look and he´s weird talent of allways knowing how I feel, as well as his cold skin. But I wasn´t scared. At all. I knew that he has to be something. Those kind of guys just don´t walk into my life.

The car stopped. Jasper got out of the car and walked around it to my side, and opened the door for me. I tried to get up, but it didn´t work. I had completely forgotten my hand. The pain reminded me of it´s existance. I had forgotten why I was there in the first place.

"Ouch" I whispered.

"Are you ok? Do need help?" he asked.

"No, I´m good." I answered. I got out of the car, He closed the door and locked the car. We stood infront of a huge, beutiful house. It was kind of house you only see in tv. They´re rich. The house was so stunning I could not stop stearing. He grabbed my healthy hand and pull it gently.

"Come on." he said.

He opened the front door. We walked into a room, couloured white and gold. One of the walls was made entirely of glass and it went all the way up. It seemed like few walls and half of the second floor had been removed. In the best spot was a gorgeus white piano. Who ever he or she was, who decorated this place is a genious.

"So..What do you think?" Jasper asked.

"It´s so beutiful." I whispered. Then we heard foot steps in the stairs. Both of us turned around. The man walking towards me was more handsome than any movie star. He was tall, he had blond hair and exactly same coloured eyes than Jasper. I knew this had to be doctor Cullen, but if you ask me, there is no way he is 30.

"Hi Jasper." he greeted.

"Hi."Jasper answered." This is Alice. Alice, this is my father Carlisle."

"Nice to meet you." I said. We shook hands. His hand was just as cold as Jasper´s.

"Nice to meet you too, Alice." he answered. He smiled encouragingly."So, Jasper told me you broke your wrist?"

"Oh,,,yeah. I did." I muttered.

"Can you show it?" he asked. I gave him my hand. He had a quick look at it and then let go."You were right. It is broken. Shall we go upstairs, to my office?" he asked. I nodded and followed him to tthe second floor. The room were we went was full of books and intresting looking paintings. I sat down and looked at the paintings. He prepared his tools.

"Jasper told me you tripped in the stairs."Carlisle said while treating my hand. I blushed a bit. He tried to hide his smile, when it happened.

"Yes...Why?" I asked.

"You remind me of Bella." he said. He smiled. "I´ve done this quite a few times for her. I think you will be good friends, when she and Edward will return from their honeymoon."

"Yeah. Hopefully." I said and tried to keep a cheerful smile in my face. Making friends isn´t exactly my strongest skill. The pain in my hand wiped of the smile in my face. I wiped a way a tear in the corner of my eye.

"Sorry." Carlisle apologized."It´s almost done."

The door was opened. Jasper came in. When I saw his face I immediatly forgot the pain. My heart started beating faster, which was quite embarrasing when we weren´t alone. Carlisle either didn´t notice, or ignored it politely, I don´t know which one.

"Ok. I´m done." Carlisle said."Try to avoid putting too much pressure in your hand, and just be careful. Your hand will recover faster that way."

I nodded."Thank you." I said and stood up. Jasper appeared in to my left side quietly. I didn´t hear a sound when he moved.

"Well, I got to go to the hospital to finish some paper works, before I start working there tomorrow. If you have any problems with your hand then you know where to find me." he said, took his jacket and opened the door.

"By." he said. Me and Jasper waved our hands as a good bye, and he closed the door behind him. I was now left alone with Jasper. For a moment we only steared at eachothers. I had to turn my eyes away from him to catch my breath. He opened the door. I knew it ment that I should follow him. We went upstairs, in to his room.

"So..What do you think?" I heard him asking. The decoration of the room followed the same classical style than the other rooms, though there were a little bit of blue between all the layers of gold and white. Two of the walls were glass. In the opposite side of the door was a bed. It was expensive looking and stylish, but it broke the line of the room. It looked ok, but it didn´t look exactly right. Something in it bothered me, but I don´t know what is it.

"Amazing." I answered. He lead me to the couch. Again, for a while, we just sat stearing eachothers. Time lost all of it´s meaning. I was captured by his eyes - I couldn´t turn away. Not like wanted to anyway. I was afraid that if I look away, he´ll disappear, and I wake up only notice this is all just a wonderful dream. If it´s a dream, I don´t wanna wake up. And if I´m awake, I don´t want to fall asleep.

"He liked you by the way." Jasper said, when he finally turned her eyes away from me. I caught my breath quickly. Then I sighed. I was reliefed. He looked at me strange expression over his face. "Why were you so worry about it anyway?"

I hesitated. I wasn´t sure how to put it words. He saw how unfortable I was.

"You don´t have to answer if you don´t want to. I´m just...curious."

"It´s ok." I answered. "Usually people just,,,don´t."

For a moment we sat quietly. He looked a bit suprised about my answer, but didn´t reply. It was starting to get dark.

"I think I should go." I said and stood up."I still have to do my homework and make food and everything."

"Ok. Sure.I´ll drive you." he answered.

Twenty minutes later Jasper stopped the car. We got out and he gave me my car keys back.

"See you tomorrow." he said." at school I mean." he added when he saw that I didn´t get it.

"Oh yeah. Thank you so much for your help." I answered.

"No problem. Later!" he said with a smile.

"Yeah bye. See you tomorrow." I said. I watched when he started walking home. I went inside.

The rest of the evening went more normally. I ate and did my homeworks. When all of that was setteled, I opened my computer and did some shopping. There was no malls in Forks, so if I wanted new clothes I had to either go to Port Angeles or Olympia, or order them from the internet. When it was time to start sleeping, I was suprisingly tired. The day had been long, but intresting.

Thinking of the events of that day I fell asleep.

* * *

_**The reviews I´ve got so far are really good! For once people write something else than "I really like your story," or "Hated it." Whether you like it or not , tell the reason aswell.**_

_**Another chapter on the way soon!  
**_


	5. Chapter 5

The night was long. For the first two hours I slept well, but then my nightmares started. I´m completely used to having ones, but it doesn´t make it any easier. Watching my worst memories together with my fears is terrible. The first one I had was a memory of the night when my parents died. Then I saw myself sitting in an empty room, they were standing infront of me. Then slowly they turned around and walked away, slowly fading and then I couldn´t see them anymore. "Don´t go! Don´t leave me!" I shouted, but it was too late. They were gone. The dream changed. I watched my worst memories from school. It was almost as if I was beaten up all over again when I saw myself in the groung bruised and bleeding,or sitting in the bathroom crying becose of all the rumours that I had to listen. Then suddenly I woke up. It took a moment for me to calm down.

It took a while for me to understand it was only a dream, but I did. And in the end I couldn´t even remember anything about it. Well, almost anything. One of the scenes was me standing infront of a mirror, but I couldnt see myself. Thats basically how I feel about myself: that I´m invisible. Like my existance doesn´t matter. The truth is that I am scared. I don´t want to spend the rest of my life like this. But I don´t know what to do. I´m lost. I´ve been avoiding my feelings as long as I can remember. Since I can´t defend myself, I always pretended I don´t care about anything. I have never alllowed myself to be sad. I didn´t want to be angry or bitter so thats why I avoided those feelings. But it´s hard. All of this is starting to pile up. It´s ripping a painful hole in my heart. It hurts, much. I took a pillow and pressed it against my chest. Finally I cried.

I don´t know how long I did cry, but after I was done I had fallen asleep. In the morning I woke up exhausted, cause I haven´t slept very well. What I really wanted was to smash the alarm clock, but instead I woke up. Slowly, relutancly I got of the bed. I took a shower and brushed my teeth. I got dressed and packed my bag. Then I headed to the kitchen. I ate breakfast, watching musicvideos from tv while eating. Then I washed the dishes quickly. Then I sat down and watched the sky from through the window glass. It was the time of the day when I started worrying about the school day ahead of me. I didnt want to admit it, but right now Lauren´s and Jessica´s gang scared the hell out of me. Facing them so soon was far from tempting. I almost decided to ditch, but then I decided that it´s no use running.

And besides today I had atleast one reason to wait for the day to start. Jasper will be there aswell. When I remembered he is coming, my heart started beating. I felt excited. I know perfectly well that it is not normal to feel like this about someone you have jus met. But I can´t help it. I know that he propably doesn´t feel the same way about me. And I can´t really blame him...But a girl can dream, right?

I sighed. I got up and took my stuff. I left the house and drove to school. I waited until the last minute to get out, and when I did, I headed straight to the classroom. I heard someone calling my name, but I didn´t turn around to see who he or she was or what he or she wanted. I was almost 100 % sure that I didn´t even want to find out. I ignored every mean comment and whisper about me, and walked quickly in to the geography classroom. I barely made it on time. It was suprisingly easy to focus on the lesson when it started.

The next lesson I had was French, which is one of my favorite subjects. In the beginning of the lesson our teatcher asked for everyone´s attension. Next to her was standing Jasper. She told that Jasper is a new student and asked for him to introduce himself. Jasper mumbled his name quietly - it was clear to me that he didn´t like being the center of attension. Then he was sent to sit in the only available seat in the room, right next to me.

When he walked to the back of the room where I was sitting, every girl in the room stared at him. I heard them whispering and gigling. I could almost feel the jealosy when I watched Jessica, who was staring Jasper mouth open. Jasper sat down next to me and greeted me with a smile on his face. Luckily the lesson went on and the others were forced to turn their heads away. Jasper took a piece of paper and wrote something in it. Then he passed it to me.

_Hi Alice. How is your hand? Hurt much?_

I read the note quickly. I took my pencil and wrote the answer.

_Not too much. _I wrote and passed it to him. He wrote an answer and passed the note back to me.

_So what do you have next?_

He wrote. I tried to hide the slight smile across my face._ Math, Music and Psycology, And after lunch I got Biology and Gym. You? _I wrote. I gave it back to him. Unfortunatly teacher asked something from him - I don´t know what. I wasn´t really paying attension, so I had to wait to get an answer. After he had correctly answered he read the note, wroted something and gave it again back to me.

_Cool. I have Math, Music and Biology as well. Is there any chanche you could talk anyone of your friends to sit somewhere else so we can sit together???_

I felt my cheeks turning red when I read the note. I tried to make my answer sound as casual as possible.

_Oh,,uhm. Not a problem. Don´t have any. By the way:Didn´t you sleep last night?_

I know it was kind of lame way to chance the subject, but atleast we wouldn´t talk about me anymore. I watched his reaction to my note. He had a strange expression in his face when he read it. Thats why I was relieved when I got his answer._Why?_ It said.

_You have dark circles undearneath your eyes, that´s why._I wrote and gave it to him. For some reason he seemed to find my note funny, he had to hide his smile. He didn´t have time to reply when the bell rang. We wrote down our homeworks and put the books in the bags. When I was packing I heard someone talking to Jasper.

"Hi Jasper. I´m Maria." she started. I sighed. Maria was almost worse than Jessica and Lauren put together.

"Nice to meet you." Jasper answered politely. I took my bag and passed them, keeping my head strickly on the floor."Whats with _her_?" I heard Maria saying. Girls behind of them giggled. Other one of them, Lucy tried to put her leg infront of me to trip me over, but luckily I didn´t. _Freak_! I heard Nettie yelling after me, but I ignored her. I made my way to Math.

The rest of the day went normally. Well normally all the other ways than the fact that Jasper sat next to me in every lesson. I don´t understand him at all. More than few people - mostly girls of course- had talked to him but still he rather spent his time talking with me. Since we didn´t have the same pscology lesson I went to the school cafeteria alone, as usual. When I was sitting and eating my lunch alone I heard some one sitting down and putting a tray on the table.

"What´s up, Alice?" I heard someone asking. I raised my head and saw Jasper who was sitting casually and talking with me like it was completly normal. Before I had a chance to answer Jessica stopped by on her way to her table. Lauren and couple of other girls behind her stopped aswell. One of them being Angela. I never understood why anyone as sweet as her wanted to spend time with Lauren and Jessica. She hated violence and never did anything bad to anyone.

"You can come sit with us if you want" Jessica said to Jasper, big smile upon her face. "At the popular table." she added.

"No thank you. I already have a lunch date." Jasper answered politely.

"Well... when you get tired of hanging out with that freak, let me know." Jessica said. I was looking down embarrased. I can´t believe she said that infront of him. Luckily she didn´t say anything else. She walked away with her posse and I we were left alone. Talking about an awkward situation. Silence was long and really uncomfortable. Jasper was the first one to break it.

"Are you ok?" he asked. He stared at me with a slight, gentle smile in his face. He was following my reaction closely. I couldn´t turn away.

"Yeah." I abswered. My answer seemed to suprise him. He looked at me like he was trying to find out weather I was being honest or not. In the end he seemed to come into a conclusion that I was honest so he turned his eyes away from mine. I was able to catch my breath. After I did that I finished my lunch. He still didn´t touch his.

"I´m not hungry." he said when he saw what I was looking at. He looked somewhat strange while saying that. Like he was laughing on a private joke or something.

"What are you doing after school?" he asked. It took a while to collect my toughts.

"Nothing special. Why?" I asked. My heart started beating faster. Could he...No. Propably not.

"Do you want to go out or something?" he asked. I couldn´t breathe. Did he really just say that???!!!

"What?!"


End file.
